What Is The Psychology Behind Dating Apps?
Curious to learn what goes on behind dating apps? Allow us to break it down through the lens of psychology.
Humans have an innate desire to build and form connections with others, whether with our carers, friends, or colleagues. Romantic and sexual relationships are a significant manifestation of this desire, sought after in the hopes of feeling more secure and fulfilled.
However, in the digital age, how we socialise and meet, let alone fall in love, has transformed drastically. For example, dating apps are at the forefront of romance in this technologically advanced era, making use of our real-time location to recommend prospective sexual and romantic partners.
As more people turn to dating apps, the variety of platforms has expanded to cater to their diverse needs. Apps like Tinder, Bumble, Grindr, and Hinge are just a few options where users invest significant time in the hopes of finding a match. The popularity of these apps is reflected in its user base. According to Statista, by the end of 2023, there were approximately 381 million users, projected to grow to about 452 million by 2028.
Considering the growing prevalence of dating apps in the digital age, this article acts as a guide for anyone keen to sign up for them. By examining your motivation to sign up, along with what makes an attractive profile, and finally the downside of using dating apps, we want to provide you with a comprehensive psychological perspective on how people would interact.
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Why Do We Use Dating Apps?
The first stage of using dating apps begins with understanding your motivation for being on them. This topic has garnered growing academic interest lately. For example, a recent 2023 study suggests that users view dating apps as a training ground or a space to experience dating.
However, this perspective might not be universally applicable. Instead, it would be accurate to view the motivations for using dating apps as multifaceted, a perspective supported by several researchers who acknowledge the diverse reasons behind their use. Several researchers support this understanding, acknowledging the diverse reasons.
Sindy Sumter and Laura Vandenbosch conducted investigations into the motivation behind Tinder usage and found that the app is used:
1. To find love or sex: Studies highlight these factors as primary motivators for our dating app usage, each of which falls on a different level in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. While sex aligns with physiological needs, love falls under the need to belong and connect. Dating apps provide us with the platform to satisfy both of these needs by enabling us to seek relationships and accomplish goals towards the top of the hierarchy.
2. Because it makes communication easier: many of us are shy or feel anxious about initiating an offline conversation, and for them, dating apps are an effective tool for self-expression.
3. To feel better about ourselves: The number of matches, profile likes, and messages that we receive provide us with validation and increase our confidence.
4. Because it is exciting: dating apps provide us with a variety of choices, instant gratification from matches, gamification features (swiping or streaks), and the thrill of discovering new people and engaging in fresh conversations.
5. To alleviate boredom: features like swiping, matching, and texting provide users with quick stimulation and a distraction from their monotonous activities.
Regardless of what motivates us, as dating app users, we look to capture and retain the attention of prospective partners. To do that, we must understand aspects of our profile that draw the most attention and highlight them to stand out and increase the odds of finding a connection.
What Makes an Attractive Dating App Profile?
Before we delve further, let me pose a question: how long do you think an average dating app user spends on each profile?
Research by Jon Levy and colleagues in 2019 reveals that on average, women spent 3.19 seconds on a profile they found attractive and nearly twice as long, i.e., 6.91 seconds on a less appealing profile. Men spent the same amount of time, i.e., 5.7–6.2 seconds, on profiles regardless of the individual's attractiveness. These findings prompt us to consider how quickly decisions are formed regarding a profile being a match, which is likely influenced by visual cues.
Our image and bio, or the text we write about ourselves, are examples of these visual cues, doubling as essential components in our profile. This isn’t just our opinion; studies that track an individual's eye movements while using a dating app corroborate it. Results suggest that our image grabs initial attention, and if attractive, it receives more attention.
But attractiveness can vary from person to person, right? True, it is subject to individual differences. However, experts suggest that, evolutionarily, the display of certain traits in your images can skew this evaluation.
Let us look at an example.
Men’s profile pictures demonstrate conspicuous consumption, which involves spending money to acquire luxury services and goods to impress others. In this context, their images will feature luxury cars, clothing, expensive jewellery, watches, electronics, etc. Let's examine this behaviour through the lens of costly signalling theory. We can understand that the high maintenance cost associated with the objects provides a signal to prospective partners regarding the individual's financial stability, resource availability, and ability to provide for offspring. All of which enhance their attractiveness.
On the other hand, women’s pictures that exemplify characteristics of goodwill and charity are valued. They can signal these traits by including images of pets, volunteering activities, or participating in a sport (shows collaboration). Demonstrating benevolent traits provides a signal to prospective partners regarding the individual's ability to take care of their offspring.
Moreover, beyond these intrinsic characteristics, we often resort to beautification techniques such as using optimal lighting, flattering angles, grooming, or even applying beauty filters to enhance our image. These methods also play a crucial role in impression formation, influencing the viewer's perception of our profile's attractiveness and trustworthiness.
Consider the results of a study conducted at the University of Connecticut. When participants were shown two photographs of the same individual, one natural and the other enhanced with makeup, styled hair, and good lighting, they consistently evaluated the enhanced image as more attractive. This study emphasises the effects of small changes on perceived attractiveness, demonstrating that these strategies are successful regardless of gender.
When it comes to trust, there are notable gender differences. Women tend to find enhanced images more trustworthy than natural ones. This may be due to the halo effect, a cognitive bias where an individual’s physical attractiveness is associated with positive characteristics. As a result, women might find an attractive man more trustworthy.
Men, conversely, view enhanced images of a woman as less trustworthy compared to natural ones. Researchers suggest that men are more suspicious about the accuracy of attractive images on dating apps, associating them with potential deceptions such as catfishing.
These gender-based differences highlight the nuanced ways in which we perceive and interpret images on dating apps. While the aspects we have discussed previously, namely conspicuous consumption, benevolence, and gender enhancement, offer unique perspectives on profile image perception, we need more research in this field to completely understand the relationship between images and impression formation before we draw any definitive conclusions.
Beyond our profile image, our bio, or the text, is another crucial element that is noticed in our profile. A 2021 study suggests that bios receive attention regardless of the attractiveness of the profile picture.
Given its importance in determining our dating experience, it prompts us to question: What constitutes a good bio for our profiles?
The answer lies in originality, which is corroborated by a 2022 research. Analysing over 300 bios, the researchers identified that original content influenced how viewers perceived the attractiveness and personality of the profile owner. These bios typically featured three main facets:
Stylistic Feature: Including a metaphorical expression or using low-frequency words with adverbs and adjectives, like “Seeking genuine connections with someone who enjoys serene sunsets, savouring good food, and embracing life's joys.”
Self-Disclosure Feature: Sharing personal information, from biographical details to your hobbies and personality, but not relationship preferences. For example, “Hello there! I'm Alex, a music lover who spends weekends exploring jazz clubs downtown and cooking my speciality, homemade Italian pasta.”
Perspective-Taking Feature: Profiles that are perceived to be original often utilise perspectives and include details about desired relationships. For example, “This adventurous soul enjoys meaningful connections and sharing laughter over new experiences. I look forward to meeting someone special to explore life's adventures together.”
Many of us might have bios similar to those listed above. While helpful, they overlook one key aspect. Researchers Juliana Schroeder and Ayelet Fishbach suggest that through these bios we emphasise the potential partner trying to get to know us. However, their research suggests that when profiles express a desire to get to know the other person, it is perceived as more appealing and increases the viewers' perception of contacting the profile owner.
But regardless of the type of bio you have, make sure that it doesn't contain any grammatical errors, as these can impact the impression you leave.
Focussing on creating an attractive and captivating profile can help you in your dating journey. However, these are just surface-level aspects of dating apps. As users, it is important to be aware of their drawbacks as well. Despite their popularity and ability to help us find our potential partners, dating apps pose several challenges that can impact our lives.
The Drawbacks Of Using Dating Apps
As dating app users, it is very easy for us to only look at the positive aspects of dating apps, particularly their ability to energise our social lives. However, as we have outlined previously, if we seek to obtain a comprehensive understanding of them, we must also pay attention to their drawbacks.
Gamification is the first aspect that comes to mind. These are the game-like or interactive elements that increase user engagement and app usage. Features like swiping, boosts, and superlikes, are a few examples of this, which encourage users to be more proactive in their usage.
Full disclosure, these features make the app a lot of fun, but we cannot overlook the fact that features like unlimited swiping contribute to making the app addictive and encourage compulsive use.
Anthropologist Natasha Dow Schüll compares dating apps to slot machines, highlighting the use of variable ratio reinforcement to create anticipation among users. In both cases, users are unsure if or when they will receive a reward, such as a match, which drives them to check the app frequently or continuously swipe, fostering addictive behaviour.
The infrequent messages or matches we receive while on the app activate our dopamine reward system, motivating and encouraging us to stay in the hopes of finding our ideal partner.
Moving on from gamification, the second drawback of dating apps is related to choice. The unique selling point (USP) of dating apps is that you, the user, can view numerous profiles before picking a partner, which seems desirable. However, psychologist Barry Schwartz argues that this can give rise to the paradox of choice. For example, when presented with multiple choices, we might experience decision paralysis or even start comparing between profiles. This can be overwhelming for a lot of individuals who avoid choosing due to fatigue. If, despite this, a decision is made, it can result in doubts about whether the best choice was selected.
Lastly, you and the app have a significant conflict of interest. If you are seeking a long-term- relationship, your goal is to leave the app eventually. However, the app’s motivation lies in keeping you engaged for as long as possible and encouraging you to upgrade to their premium services like Tinder Gold, Bumble Boost, and Grindr Unlimited.
Navigating the world of dating apps offers profound insights into user psychology. As we've explored, these platforms address a range of motivations and provide a convenient way to seek companionship. However, they also present challenges, such as gamification, which can foster compulsive use, and the paradox of choice, which may lead to decision fatigue and dissatisfaction.
As users, it is crucial to remain mindful of these aspects. By managing our expectations and making informed decisions, we can better align our use of dating apps with our personal goals and well-being. Understanding both the benefits and drawbacks will help us navigate the digital dating landscape more effectively and maintain a balanced approach to seeking meaningful connections.
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