How Is Your Insecurity Affecting Your Social Media Behaviour?
Insecurity significantly impacts our social media behaviour. But how exactly?
Social media seems to be an essential part of our daily routines. It is, however, the duration and the intention of our viewing that help us determine if the action is healthy or not.
In the past, we have examined the influence of social media with articles focussing on voting behaviour, body image, phone addiction, and mental health. We recommend you check out these articles if you haven't already.
But there is one thing we are yet to touch upon. We have thus far focused on the narrative that likened the user to the prey of multinational corporations, advertising companies, and even political parties, who orchestrated scenarios that affected our attitudes and behaviour.
In reality, the apps and we have a symbiotic relationship of give and take, and it is important also to observe how consumers bring their psychological variables into the dynamic. So through this article, we want to pay attention to our insecurities and how they control our social media behaviour.
Please note that this topic has very limited research; hence, the evidence presented in this article is primarily anecdotal.
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Insecurity and Social Media
We need to understand that insecurity and social media share a circular relationship. Constant exposure to social media can fuel insecurity. To combat this insecurity, people turn to social media and engage in behaviours such as seeking validation, showing off, and stalking, to name a few. These behaviours only reinforce our insecurity, trapping us in a cycle of comparison and self-doubt. Insecurity manifests itself differently in each of these behaviours, so let us take a look at them in detail.
Posting for Validation or Reassurance
Social media is a great way for friends and family to stay updated about our lives and vice versa. However, it becomes a problem if we post to seek reassurance or validation from others.
Let me elaborate more using my social media behaviour. Previously, whenever I put out a story or an image, I would continually refresh to see how many likes it had garnered and who had liked it. I know it sounds like overkill, but I am not alone in demonstrating this behaviour.
It is almost as if the approval I obtained from others as likes helped me feel good about myself. But the truth is, those positive emotions were very brief. This can give rise to a vicious cycle where you feel compelled to post frequently, seeking that momentary approval, which is not healthy behaviour.
Another way I found validation, stemming from my insecurity, was by showing off. Posting images of my hangouts and exciting vacations was my way of obtaining said validation, but other manifestations of achieving this could be one's achievements or possessions. The bottom line of both is to showcase the exciting highlights of one's life in hopes of being recognised and validated by one’s peers.
Additionally, the search for this online validation can also distract an individual from being present in cherished moments as they focus on capturing the perfect one that resonates with their audience.
Stalking
Quite often I found myself on Instagram scrolling through profiles of new followers or acquaintances. I did this just because I was curious and wanted to gather information about them, but without malice or any ill intent. Social media stalking is somewhat normalised in our society, but there is an aspect of it that warrants some reflection.
For instance, results from a 2019 study suggest that individuals who are more likely to engage in online surveillance behaviour are those who are trying to avoid feeling socially excluded. Or, in simpler terms, the insecurity and anxiety that arise from the fear of missing out on group activities can act as a trigger, and to counter it, they begin to track the social media of others.
Another reason is social comparison. In my case, with browsing or social media research, I could obtain information about others who I perceived as equals. By observing their online activity, I sought validation of my worth or standing, encouraging me to stalk to gain these insights continually.
Bullying
Lastly, one of the more hostile manifestations of insecurity online often presents itself in the form of trolling, online bullying, doxxing, etc. Recent studies have identified a relationship between such behaviours, particularly trolling, and narcissistic traits. These individuals assert their dominance and superiority and revel in the validation they receive on social media.
However, a closer examination of their psychological profiles reveals that this behaviour is often exhibited to counter their feelings of insecurity. Similarly, research suggests that those who engage in online hatred display low self-awareness and poor self-identity. This suggests that individuals exploit the anonymity provided by social media platforms to exert superiority and dominance over others as a defence mechanism for their insecurities.
How To Feel Less Insecure On Social Media
Everyone chooses to put out only the vibrant side of their lives on social media. When constantly exposed to such content, we feel insecurity and invisible pressure. So how do we combat it?
So here is what I did. I went off Instagram for 3 years. Not completely though; I would appear once every 3 months or so to “catch up” on what’s happening and vanish again. Now that sounds like a balanced solution, right?
Well, it must be on paper. But in reality, it wasn't the best.
Every login made it worse for me. Each post, even if it was from people I considered my closest friends, would push me down a FOMO and spiral into negative self-talk. It made me feel that everyone had the most sorted life, gave off fitness and travel goals, and here I was seemingly getting nowhere.
Not the best place to be, I know. So if you find yourself in a similar position as I was, then you need to know that all is not lost. Because I am not there anymore. I decided to change it for myself and stop giving social media and the negative chatter that accompanies it so much power over my life. And trust me, I know that it is easier said than done. But that decision was my first step towards breaking this cycle and prioritising my well-being.
The second step, one that I am still working on, is to be more aware. So when I scroll through social media, rather than mindlessly scrolling, I am working on being aware of the self-critical/negative emotions that arise. While I am doing this mentally, you can consider keeping a journal or a Word document where you record your reactions to situations and keep track of aspects to improve on.
The third aspect that I am continually working on is reframing negative self-talk to move towards a more positive mindset. So when I have thoughts like “Everyone other than me is having fun," I shift it to something like “I am focussing on what makes me happy.” I know it’s not perfect. But by being aware of my emotions and switching my internal conversation, I am able to focus towards my personal growth rather than social comparison.
Remember that you are not the only one who feels insecure, but you are the select few who are trying to work on it. Put in the work and effort, and you are sure to have a more positive relationship with yourself and your social media.
References Lim, M. (2019). Social exclusion, surveillance use, and Facebook addiction: the moderating role of narcissistic grandiosity. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 16(20), 3813. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph16203813 Malecki, W. P., Kowal, M., Dobrowolska, M., & Sorokowski, P. (2021). Defining online hating and online haters. Frontiers in Psychology, 12. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.744614 Nabila, E. (2023). Social definition paradigm: Showing behavior of youth among social media. OSF. https://doi.org/10.31219/osf.io/p2xmc Tandon, A., Dhir, A., Talwar, S., Kaur, P., & Mäntymäki, M. (2021). Dark consequences of social media-induced fear of missing out (FoMO): Social media stalking, comparisons, and fatigue. Technological Forecasting and Social Change, 171, 120931. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.techfore.2021.120931 |
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